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My Letter to God



Dear God, I am writing this letter to You. This letter is an answer to Your letter (or collection of letters) that is called the Quran.

Actually, all my actions and words convey information, and this is the reason that each day of my life is a letter from me to You. In total, I will send to You about 15000-20000 letters (69:25). Then, we are going to meet (84:14).[i]

The days are my unconscious letters. However, this writing is my conscious letter. I address You directly (1:5). This possibility and option of direct address are some of the greatest gifts that You gave to me.

I know that You are not defined by rituals, rules, and routines, and You do not need them. Rituals, rules, and routines are for me because I am the being that is constrained by space, time, energy, and entropy. The amount and quantity of energy and information that I can consume and process are defined and limited by my anatomy, so rituals, rules, and routines adjust the portions of energy and information for me, but not for You.

I know there are boundaries and limits of space, time, energy, and entropy that I cannot overstep, and also, I know that boundaries and limits do not limit my knowledge. Physically and physiologically, I cannot pass that boundary, but cognitively and psychologically, I can pass almost any boundary with the help of Your code – the Quran.

You gave, and You are giving me a brain and heart that can travel to the micro-world of quarks, photons, and fermions and macro-world of galaxies, clusters, and black holes. In my essence, I unite and fuse the smallest and the largest things. I can see relationships, connections, and patterns between and behind the things, and I call them laws.

You created one world outside of me and another world inside of me, and there is a constant and continuous flow of energy and information between them. In Your letter (Quran), You constantly and continuously give examples of these two worlds. The virtual and imaginary boundary between these two worlds is called self, ego, me. I use this virtual and imaginary boundary to read three books that You gave to me: Universe, Human, and Quran.

The concepts of meter, second, and kilogram are virtual, imaginary, and artificial, but nevertheless, they help and assist me in understanding, comprehending, and quantifying the world. Similarly, the concept of ego, as the boundary between the inner and outer world, is virtual, imaginary, and artificial. The ego is like scaffolding, and the ego is used to construct the building of knowledge, but in the end, the ego must be removed like scaffolding. Building knowledge is the aim and goal, and scaffolding of ego is the tool and instrument.

I know that everything and everyone belongs to You and longs for You. However, I can use my ego to tell, “this thing belongs to me.” By comparing things belonging to me and things belonging to You, I can try to understand Your works, actions, Names, Attributes, and Essence not only qualitatively but also quantitatively. So, ego is a tool of quantitative analysis (gnosis) of Divine works, actions, Names, Attributes, and Essence (Nursi, Thirtieth Word).[ii]

By looking at relations, connections, and patterns between things, I can try to understand my relation and connection to You. For example, I see a child (toddler) crying because she is separated from and lost her mother. The child is crying because, without her mother, the child is helpless, abandoned, lost, and lonely. The child stops crying when she is reunited with her mother.

I am helpless, abandoned, lost, and lonely in this world of vast space of billions of light-years, deep time of billions of years, huge energies of trillions of trillions of joules, and never-ending entropy. I am not even a speck of dust when compared to all the matter of the Universe. However, I never cried like a child who is separated from her mother.

Dear God, please, let me cry and make me cry like a child that is separated from her mother, until my reunion with You (93:6). Let me find joy in crying, and let me quench my thirst with my tears (9:92). My eyes and heart were dry for thirty years, and I can’t bear this dreadful dryness anymore (9:82).

Dear God, I am helpless (27:62). Dear God, I am abandoned (6:76). Dear God, I am lost (44:9). Dear God, I am alone and lonely (5:24). Dear God, I am tired (94:3). Dear God, I am exhausted (2:214). Dear God, I am betrayed (12:9, 12:10).

Dear God, I am blind, blinded, deaf, and dumb (2:18, 47:24). Dear God, I am a sinner, polytheist, unbeliever, disbeliever, and hypocrite (2:28, 44:35, 59:12). Dear God, I am defeated, destroyed, demolished, deceived, and dead (7:21, 7:23, 20:120, 54:10). Dear God, I am weak, crippled, old, ill, and sick (19:4, 21:83). Dear God, I am captive, prisoner, and jailed (12:33).

Dear God, I am broke, broken, and bankrupt (12:86). Dear God, I am downfallen, degraded, degenerated, denigrated, and deserted (21:87). Dear God, I am nothing (76:1).

Dear God, I wanted these words to be a song of the nightingale, but these words are more like a cry of agony of a wounded animal. These words have no beauty, but I believe these words contain sincerity. I am an ugly person both from the outside and inside, and I do not try to deceive You by pretending to appear and show myself beautiful. My voice is a cry of agony of a wounded animal, not a song of the nightingale. I know it, and You know it. Forgive me, dear God.

Dear God, now, I address You by words of Your nightingale:

You are my Refuge in misfortune. You are my Hope in disaster. You are my Friend in desolation. You are my Companion in loneliness. You are my Benefactor and Beneficent Friend. You are Dispeller of my cares. You are my Succourer in need. You are my Stronghold in my plight. You are my Helper in a time of fear. You are my Guide in times of confusion.[iii] You are my Support because I am without support. You are my Prop because I am without a prop. You are my Bestower of profuse bounties because I am indigent. You are my Succourer because I am without succour. You are my Stronghold because I am without protection. You are my Pride because I am without pride. You are my Glory because I am without glory. You are my Helper because I am without a helper. You are my Friend because I am without a friend. You are my Riches because I am without riches.[iv] Glory is unto You. You are without a partner or fault.

There is no god but You. Mercy, mercy, deliver me from Hell-fire.

Dear God, only You are alone and lonely. All other beings cannot be and cannot bear the state of being alone and lonely. Dear God, end my aloneness and cease my loneliness. Let me know You. Let me hear You. Let me listen to You. Let me talk with You. Let me speak to You. Let me see You. Let me understand You. Let me be close to You as much as possible. Let me transcend the limits and boundaries of space, time, energy, and entropy.

Dear God, You put in my nature two essences. The first essence is physical and temporary. The second essence is metaphysical and eternal. My body is physical and temporary, and my body gets older, dies, and decays. However, my mind and spirit are metaphysical and eternal (21:34). My body is limited and constrained by space, time, energy, and entropy, but my mind and spirit (with the proper training and education of the Quran) can break the barriers and walls of space, time, energy, and entropy. My mind and spirit long for, desire, and deserve eternity, but my body is not designed for eternity. These dichotomy, paradox, dilemma, and conundrum are answered by the Glorious Quran.

I have the choice of which essence I prioritize. Both essences are valid and valuable, but they are not equal and equivalent. Investing in body and bodily pleasures is like investing in a car for its own sake. However, in a very short time, either car breaks down, or I break down.

Therefore, investing in the car must be for the sake of the destination. A car is not a goal, but a car is a tool, and a destination is a goal. The body is not a goal, but the body is a tool, and eternity is the destination (87:16, 87:17).

In this world, I operate under the constraints of space, time, energy, and entropy, but this operation is temporary. On the geological and cosmological time scale, my biological life is only a spark and speck. That is why I must choose and concentrate on time periods of geological and cosmological scale because my mind and spirit can discover, understand, and desire such time scales. If my mind and spirit were not designed for cosmological time scales, then they would not be able to discover and desire such time scales. If the lock and key are compatible, then their manufacturer is the same and one. If mind, spirit, time, space, energy, and entropy are compatible, then their Creator is the same and One.

Dear God, You are One. Let me breach and break the walls and barriers of space, time, energy, and entropy. Let my mind and spirit escape the prison of space, time, energy, and entropy. Let my body achieve the state and condition suitable and adapted for eternity.

Dear God, the knowledge of You and about You is achieved in five stages and levels: (1) works (of art), (2) actions (laws), (3) Names, (4) Attributes, (5) Essence.

Works (of art) → Actions → Names → Attributes → Essence

The journey of studying and imitating the first stage is called art. Painters imitate Your flowers. Sculptors imitate Your animals. Architects imitate Your mountains, valleys, rivers, and forests. Musicians imitate Your nightingales. Poets imitate Your books. People imitate Your works. This is a journey of searching for beauty.

The journey of studying and discovering the second stage is called science. Scientists study, discover and uncover Your actions, and they call them natural or scientific laws. Scientists call them the law of gravitation, electromagnetic interaction, strong nuclear interaction, weak nuclear interaction, etc. The works of Your art are visible and touchable. Your actions are not visible or touchable, but they are discoverable in the interactions and patterns of Your works.

This is the journey of searching for order.

The journey of studying and discovering the third stage is called religion. The scholars of religion study, discover and uncover connections between Your Names, actions, and works. For example, Quran follows the pattern of mentioning works (of art), then actions, then Names.

Works (of art) → Actions → Names

Verse 6:99 firstly mentions works (of art), i.e., vegetation, grain, palm-tree, dates, vines (grapes), olive tree, pomegranate. Next, verses 6:99, 6:100, 6:101 mention actions, i.e., sends down, bring forth, created them, created all things. Finally, verse 6:102 mentions Names, i.e., God, your Lord, Creator, Guardian.

Verses from 56:57 to 56:74 mention works (of art): you (human being), semen, death, the first creation, seed, chaff, water, cloud, fire, tree. Also, these verses mention actions: created you, create it, decree, replace you, produce you in a new mode and form of existence, make it grow, willed, make it, send it down, bring it into being. Finally, these verses are concluded and summarized by Names in verse 56:74: your Lord, the Supreme.

Verse 30:48 mentions works (of art) and actions: winds, clouds, heaven, aggregated particles, rain, sends forth, set to move, spreads them, wills, makes them, caused it to fall. Then, these works and actions are connected to Name in verse 30:50: All-Powerful (Qadīr).

These three stages (Works (of art) → Actions → Names) are available to all people. The last two stages (Attributes → Essence) require deep study, and they are very difficult to understand and comprehend. That is why I think that the knowledge of Attributes and Essence of God is reserved for the Hereafter. This third stage is the journey of searching for purpose and meaning.

The pattern “Works (of art) → Actions → Names” is movement from concrete to abstract. People who skip and omit one or two stages in this pattern or people who try to reverse the order of this pattern are doomed to fail. For example, the teachers of religion or philosophy (i.e., purpose) who push down the throats of people the abstract religious or philosophical concepts without first explaining concrete art (i.e., beauty) and science (i.e., order) are going to be rejected and defeated.

First, beauty. Second, order. Third, purpose. First, art. Second, science. Third, religion. First, what. Second, how. Third, why.

First, works. Second, actions. Third, Names.

Small children and uneducated adults have difficulty understanding abstract concepts of religion. For them, there is the architecture of buildings (temples), sculptures of saints, paintings of stories, music of churches and temples, the poetry of sacred texts and hymns.

For those who want to see not only things, but also connections and patterns between and behind things, there are sciences of Universe, Human, and Quran (Nursi, Nineteenth Word).

These sciences are more abstract than arts, but there are open, obvious, apparent, and observable relationships and connections between concrete things and abstract concepts. There are volumes of books about abstract concepts, ideas, and laws of Universe, Human, and Quran, and interested people can refer to them.

After studying more concrete art and science, the foundation for studying religion is laid down. Without art and science, without beauty and order, without strong connections to concrete and observable phenomena, religion is destined to fall and fail into emptiness and a vacuum of esotericism and mysticism.

The Names of God must be connected to the actions and works of God. Without this connection, the Names of God seem to be ramblings of a madman (26:27, 44:14, 51:39, 51:52, 52:29, 54:9, 68:2, 68:51, 81:22) and some abstract nonsense that has no application in real life.

That is why people who lack education in art and science, who refuse and refute beauty and order, who see themselves beyond beauty and above order, reject religion. Or they were not taught to connect works, actions, names, beauty, order, purpose, art, science, religion. Or they were taught that art, science, and religion exist separate from each other and oppose each other.

Dear God, in order to understand You, I must study art, science, and religion, i.e., Your works, actions, and Names. I will not follow those who concentrate on and constrain themselves to only art, or only science, or only religion.

Dear God, this is my letter to You. You put no barrier between You and me. You allow no intercessors between You and me. You allow only teachers and models to learn and imitate. You want me to talk and speak directly to You. So, I am writing to You. Writing is my prayer, my invocation, and my dialogue with You.

I chose, and I am choosing weakness in front of God and strength in front of people.

2:111 … Say: “Produce your proof if you are truthful!” [v]

25:30. And the Messenger says: “My Lord! Surely my people have made this Qur’an something worthy of no attention.” [vi] [vii]


-İman isteyen münafık


Endnotes


[i] Ali Ünal, The Qur’an with Annotated Interpretation in Modern English, n.d.,

www.mquran.org www.theholybook.org.

[ii] Said Bediuzzaman Nursi, The Words: On the Nature and Purposes of Man, Life, and All

Things, trans. Şükran Vahide, vol. 1, Risale-i Nur Collection, 2008, http://www.sozler.com.tr.

[iii] Cevsen.de, “Jawshan | Arabic-English (11),” accessed February 8, 2021,

http://www.cevsen.de/jawshan-arabic-english-11/.

[iv] Cevsen.de, “Jawshan | Arabic-English (28),” accessed June 16, 2021,

https://www.cevsen.de/jawshan-arabic-english-28/.

[v] Ünal, The Qur’an with Annotated Interpretation in Modern English.

[vi] Ünal.

[vii] hypocritewhowa1 hypocritewhowa1, Newspaper or Quran? (Turkish Language), 2021,

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=69qvo-lmhMA.


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